alienbooty:

DAY 95
Monday, April 5th, 2010

“How to recognize the aliens among us guide. Only a complete booby would deny that extraterrestrial visitors are here already, and here to stay, despite government lies to the contrary. Many have taken human shape, all the better to study us. Today, learn how to spot them.”

The book states 4 characteristics to look for in an alien: dead eyes (glazed expressionless eyes), closed mouth (they don’t need to speak, as they communicate telepathetically), ears oozing green goo (a sign that something seriously amiss), flaring nostrils (they use them to move from one human body to another).

Be aware starting today that if you spot an alien in your presence, do the following: try not to let on that you’re onto the alien, as they can read your thoughts. Think of something innocuous instead, like a nice summer picnic for instance. Then quickly kill the alien by beheading it with a big axe, and burn the body. Report the incident to your local police station. Also, be sure explain the situation because this could also be labeled as what today’s society refers to as “murder”.

As I write this at school, there are no aliens present - so no action need be taken. Although, some days I wonder about my friend Krista (that sits across from me) on whether or not she is indeed a creature from a far far land. We may never know. I’ll just stay on her good side to be safe.

So, moral of today, be aware and for God’s sake, be careful out there! You can’t say I didn’t warn you.

Time for a true story.

My family, Emily and I were out in Las Vegas in the summer of ‘08 and had the opportunity to visit Area 51, which as you may know is a top-secret military base out in the middle of nowhere, but in Nevada. I remember waking up in our hotel room on the morning of my 20th birthday and turning on the TV to see a show regarding Area 51. I instantly thought to myself - this is my birthday present. Long story midget, my parents rented a car for the day and we were Area 51 bound!

The drive itself was something else - pure desert with no reception. Luckily, the hills didn’t have eyes as it was a day trip. Rachel, Nevada was our destination. Area 51 is located near the town of only 98, but the only visible sign of the base is a long dirt road (for security purposes). The Little AleInn, a small burger joint (featured on the Travel Channel) was where we ate “saucer burgers” for lunch while listening to the locals and their stories regarding the base.

There are many theories of what actually goes on at the base, which include:

- The storage, examination, and reverse engineering of crashed alien spacecraft with its occupants at Roswell.

- Manufacturing of aircrafts based on alien technology.

- Joint undertakings with extraterrestrials.

- The development of exotic energy weapons for weather control.

- The development of time travel and teleportation technology.

- The development of unique propulsion systems related to the Aurora Program.

- Activities related with the Majestic 12 organization often referred as one world government.

It was a great and interesting experience, which I will never forget. I never thought I would make it to Area 51, but then again, I never thought I would be living by a book for an entire year! I took a rock (from right outside the base) as a souvenir, but no alien action has occurred at my house - yet. I got a bag of Reese Pieces just in case.

“Balloon Boy” has nothing an Area 51.

Dear followevan,

We, too, have visited the Little Ale’Inn, Groom Lake, and the outskirts of what you humans call Area 51.

We were initially approached by armed guards in a white Jeep Cherokee until they realized who we were and at which point we were invited in for tea and crumpets.

For a town with a population of six (six psychopaths, anyway) Rachel, Nevada USA has excellent Darjeeling tea.

As much as I enjoyed reading of your birthday exploits, I must tell you I found the hostile and threatening tone of your post overall to be very disturbing.

I have forwarded your information to my “superior” and rest assured you will receive your alien visit soon enough.

That knock on your door just now? That’s destiny, my friend.